I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
