Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize