i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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