Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
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I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize