Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he quoted the bible to break up with me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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