The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
this hospital has no fireball
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
