tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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