the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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