he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
