I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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