dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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