5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
