I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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