Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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