she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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