super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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