Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
sarcasm needs its own font
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
