SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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