Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
