My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize