she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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