It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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