Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
