Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
