I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
