also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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