Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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