idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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