hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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