She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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