Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
They have beer where we have blood.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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