do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
