haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we're making bets on your personal life
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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