It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
