Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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