Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
