You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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