He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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