I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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