Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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