New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
