No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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