Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy