I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.