i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.