Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list