I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize