4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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