He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
