Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
