now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
