How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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