You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
