Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
