eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
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Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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