Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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