i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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