the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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