drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
