I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
