Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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