i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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