South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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